Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
