im about as happy as oj after his trial
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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