I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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