he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
