allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
