I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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