hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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