my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize