Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
