My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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