very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize