Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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