Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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