I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.