You're my little dorito
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it