He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?