This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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