Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wanna passion pit in your ass
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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