Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
