I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
