I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize