maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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