BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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