I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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