I think I died a long time ago.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize