Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
