i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
