i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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