i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
