You work out of a Hotel?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
