Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
