The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
