fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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