There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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