Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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