I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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