There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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