i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
