Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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