I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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