used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
