Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
where does the pee come out of this thing
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
