Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
