Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
everyone is single if you try hard enough
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
