you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm really busy with my period
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
