Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
