Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
