i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize