he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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