While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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