We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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