I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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