Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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