Is it normal to miss your booty call?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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