I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
