I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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Hippo gnu deer
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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