i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.