this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
