Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
