Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize